Pretending To Breathe
by Our Eleventh Hour
Summary: OC story, 1st POV. Kate Miller was 17 when Bishop turned her. Previously titled 'The Past'. Spoilers.
1. Chapter 1

**That bit about the Pony Express was found on Wikipedia.**

**My first Being Human fic, and since the latest episode had Aiden 'devoted' to Bishop and the cause (okay so that's how I saw it) I kind of figured Aiden was on Bishop's side about turning people.**

**The past is not a package one can lay away. ~Emily Dickinson**

I was almost seventeen years old when Bishop turned me. The year was 1861 and I had a job with the Pony Express. They were reluctant to hire me since I was a female and they were looking for young boys who were willing to face death but somehow my father convinced them to give me the job. He had a saloon in Colorado but didn't like me 'mixing' with all the bandits that would drop by, add that to the fact I'd spent fourteen years riding horses and could handle a gun and he suggested I join the PE.

Since I was a girl, I didn't work the main routes. My job was to go to surrounding towns off of where a station was and pick up letters, then take them to a station and hand them to whoever was riding.

I was in St. Joseph, Missouri, handing off a stack of letters when I literally ran into a man with black hair and another man with reddish colored hair. Apologizing, the black haired man helped me gather my dropped letters and they introduced themselves.

"I'm Aiden and this is Bishop." the black haired man said with a smile.

"Kate." I said, stuffing the letters into a pouch that hung from my shoulder and down onto my waist. "Sorry for bumpin' into you-"

Bishop stepped in, "No, no, it was our fault." He glanced at my bag, "So you're with the Express?"

I nodded, a bit cheerful, "Yes, sir. Which reminds me, I need to get going."

"They say the Express is shutting down soon."

It was true. Someone had invented a way of transmitting letters-Morse code. It was out doing the PE and people were switching to that method. The Express had only been running for less than two years and it was coming to an end quickly. I sighed, "Yeah." My cheerfulness had evaporated with the reminder. "Folks are keepin' up to date, using Morse code instead of the Express."

"So what are you going to do?" Bishop raised an eyebrow.

I told him the truth: "I honestly don't know."

Aiden and Bishop shared a look before Aiden said, "Well...we might have a solution."

And a week later I became a vampire. I know what you're thinking, 'What the hell?' But you've got to understand-I was a teenage girl, unmarried, and had no promising future. I never talked to my father again, but I did attend his funeral. I didn't want to put him at risk so I kept away, which was encouraged by the vampire family I'd recently joined.

Aiden and Bishop gave me an answer to my problem and for a while it worked. But when you spend over a hundred years with the same people they begin to grate on your nerves. I owe them everything, though. Am I happy with my choice to join the dead...er, undead? Not exactly. Would I make the choice again? Probably. But put yourself in my shoes at the time.

I can be a sentimental person when the time's right. For example, my father gave me a bandana just before I joined the Express, I've still got it. It was kind of a joke between us. Several shops in town had been robbed by some kids with bandanas covering their faces and therefore their identities and Pop thought it'd be funny if I started keeping one on me, "To keep those other towns on their feet, Katie." he'd said. The thing's got a few holes in it but I take it everywhere.

The point is, sometimes people tell us to forget the past. But when you don't age, don't move forward, the only thing you _have _is the past.

**So I saw the latest episode of Being Human (America) and my thoughts began producing Katelyn Miller. At first she belonged to a family in Charles Towne during the American Revolution (today it's Charleston) but then I realized Aiden was from that war. So I went to the Old West and saw something mention the Pony Express.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry this one's much shorter than the last one but hopefully there will be another update soon.**

**There are too many people, and too few human beings. ~Robert Zend**

I waited patiently on the park bench, ignoring the kid about twenty feet away from me that had skinned his knees. Blood was barely seeping out but still, blood was blood. Usually the pull wouldn't be so bad but considering the fact I hadn't...eaten...since yesterday made the urge to go and suck the kid dry pretty strong.

_Finally_, Aiden showed up. He wore his black jacket, jeans, and a white t-shirt. Sitting beside me he said, "Hey Kate, sorry I'm late."

I winced at the rhyme but got to the point, "So is your werewolf friend in or not?"

Aiden had a job as an orderly at the local hospital. There, he had met a werewolf named Joseph or Jacob or something. The two had become friends and were planning on becoming roommates-something Aiden wanted me to be a part of. I'd only been back with my 'brother' for five months and we were sharing an apartment but he wanted to try something different. According to Aiden, we all needed a place where we could attempt to be human. The three of us were already trying that role, but Aiden was under the impression we shouldn't all be alone.

He nodded with a small smile, "Josh wants to do it. We were thinking of buying a house up on-"

I shook my head quickly, "No! Don't tell me, it'll ruin the surprise." Jumping to my feet, I sent Aiden a quick smile, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go grab something to eat."

"There's food in the fridge." He had a knowing look on his face. God, I hated him sometimes. Since we had been living together, Aiden made me quit the fresh blood and go to the crappy kind he stole from hospitals. Okay, by crappy I meant not so bad but it still wasn't as great as fresh-

I could feel my mouth watering at the thought and prepared myself for disappointment. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, Aiden." Rolling my eyes and I walked away, then turned around and walked in the opposite direction since that kid with the skinned knee was still bleeding. Damn, how long did someone's knee bleed?

Leaving Aiden in the park, I started making my way towards our apartment. Originally we'd been in a hotel room until I was officially off straight-from-the-source blood. But once I could manage only drinking hospital blood, we rented an apartment. Since then I'd only had one slip up-but that wasn't completely my fault. I was still weaning off the fresh stuff when I walked past an alley where someone was being freakin' stabbed. Just. My. Luck. Fortunately for the woman I was drinking, Aiden had only been a few moments behind me. He had been reluctant to leave me alone while I was torn between fridge blood and fresh blood. Aiden had even taken off work for a few weeks-saying his sister was having some issues and he needed to take care of her.

But that night was the last time I ever slipped. After the startling realization I was drinking someone who'd just been stabbed, I had an epiphany.

Not all humans were humans. I'm not talking about how some people you know are actually vampires or werewolves, but who would kill another human being? I was doing it to survive but then Aiden reminded me there was another option. There was another path I could take.

Sometimes, despite the fact they were people, humans weren't humans. Sometimes, they were the monsters.


	3. Chapter 3

**Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end. ~Author Unknown**

The only guy I ever loved I met at a small diner. Bishop was having me meet some aquaintance at Roy's Diner. The vampire was supposed to be some bigshot in Canada but I honestly couldn't care less about him. First off, he was half an hour late. If you're going to meet someone, don't be late. It's completely rude unless you give them a call and say you'll be running late.

But, anyway, I was sitting at the diner when this boy, no more than eighteen, sits across from me. I raised an eyebrow and he smiled this charming grin. He wore Army greens and his nametag read: Knight.

"Hey there," he greeted.

"Hi."

Okay, he was pretty cute. He had short black hair and big green eyes. Plus, he was in a uniform that made him look really good.

"So can I ask why you're sitting here?" he questioned, curious.

"Waiting for someone."

"You've been waiting for over thirty minutes."

My eyebrow raised again, "You were watching me?"

Knight nodded slightly before he said, "Pretty much. But, it wasn't really my fault. The moment you walked in there was this difference in the room and I had to watch you until finally, well, here we are."

He was pretty smooth talking, as you can see. So we talked. Bantered back and forth. It was more than amazing, to put it simply. Finally, when seven o'clock rolled around and we had been talking for two hours he said he had to leave.

Standing up he gave me another grin, "I'm sure you've got a boyfriend but...I was wonderin' if I could send you letters. I don't have anyone else to write to-"

"I look forward to them." I said honestly, writing my address on a napkin using a pen he gave me. He gave me yet another grin and walked out of the diner, leaving me confused but very happy.

Having nothing else to do, I watched him board a big blue bus that I hadn't noticed arrive. He gave me a quick wave and pointed to the napkin. I laughed to myself and began the short walk to the old plantation house my vampire family was living in in Charleston, South Carolina.

When I reached the large home, I found someone waiting for me. Reid was a pretty young vampire, though he looked twenty-nine he had only been turned eleven years ago.

"We were getting worried." Reid stated, motioning towards the house.

"No, more like Bishop wanted to make sure I didn't run off." I snorted quietly to myself, but I knew Reid could hear me with his enhanced vampire hearing. Aiden had left fourteen years ago. To be honest, if I knew where he was I'd go with him. Aiden was my all-but-blood brother. We were close but he kind of ripped me in half when he left. But believe me, when I say I'd go with him in a heartbeat I mean it. I miss him. A lot.

"Charlotte came here directly." Reid told me, leading up several steps and through the front door. The vampire was ignoring my comment. Good choice. "Someone was going to go and retrieve you-" Way to make me sound like some object, Reid-boy. "-but Bishop said you'd come back on your own sooner or later."

Which is what he expected Aiden to do any day now.

*Being Human*

Months passed and I received all kinds of letters from Knight. I learned his first name was Bryan, his family died in a fire when he was seventeen, his favorite color, his favorite book, and that he couldn't wait for my response.

Being a vampire, I knew I wasn't supposed to get involved with a human. Look what happened with Bishop for cryin' out loud! But...this guy, Bryan, there was just something about him that I could resist. He was funny, smart, dedicated to his country, and he seemed to like me. There were a few downsides, though. We never saw each other, I was a vampire, he was in the middle of a traumatizing war, oh, yeah, and I was a vampire. I could only keep up this little 'fling', as Marcus later called it, up for so long. Either I told him the truth or I let him go.

Neither option sounded great.

A year passed and the letters stopped coming. At first I wasn't too worried. Part of me knew the mail was being looked through due to military security and such, after Pearl Harbor the mail system had never been the same. Another part of me thought, "Hey, maybe he found someone else?" This would be the best option, considering we couldn't be together anyway.

Then a human showed up at the door, wearing a service uniform. He gave me his sincerest apologies and told me Bryan Knight was dead and had listed me as family to tell if he had been killed.

That was something I hadn't been expecting. The pain that went through my heart was indescribable. Imaginea knife stabbing the organ and you won't even get a quarter of how I felt right then and for the rest of my life. Sure, the pain died down eventually but...I loved Bryan Knight. I told him that much in almost every letter I sent him and he told me the same.

No one at the house had even known I was getting letters from a drafted man no more than eighteen. I was always the first at the mail slot, trying to beat everyone to it.

After Bryan died, I only wanted to talk to one person: Aiden. And he wasn't. There. So, who talks to me instead?

Bishop.

"Love clouds our judgement." he told me after walking into my room to find me sitting on the floor crying. "It's better this way, Katie."

And you see, that's where he's wrong. My life would have been better with Bryan in it. I don't know if I would have turned him or if I would spent the rest of his life human, but I know either one would have been worth it. He made me laugh, hell, he made me forget that I was a vampire for a while. I'd never felt like that before and now it was all gone.

This was pretty much the second strike Bishop had, the first being when he caused Aiden to leave. Bishop was being such a hypocrite, I thought. Hadn't he fallen in love with a human? But then again, he killed her so maybe this isn't exactly the time to bring that point up.

**Okay, so I was listening to 'Travelin' Soldier'-Dixie Chicks while replying to a review and had the inspiration to write this. It's a good song whether you like the Dixie Chicks or not. Also, I don't write a lot of love stuff so sorry if this is a lame excuse for love but after seeing Aiden and Bishop's past relationships, well, I thought Kate needed a little love too!**


	4. Chapter 4

**May the roof above us never fall in**

**And may we good companions beneath it never fall out.**

**~Irish Blessing**

"I'm Katie." I introduced myself with a bit of a forced smile. The werewolf-Josh-gave me a bright, nervous smile. We were standing in the living room of the home Aiden had shown us. While this was my first time meeting Josh, I already liked him. He just had one of those innocent puppy eyed faces that made you want to trust him instantly. Of course, I didn't trust him all that much, he was a werewolf after all.

Aiden was trying to get me to get over the prejudice, but it was a little hard. My entire vampiric life had been spent with Bishop telling me werewolves were bad. They were at the bottom of the food chain.

But luckily for the three of us, I had been open minded since my last meeting with Bishop. Aiden was gently but firmly guiding me down a better path.

"So...you're a..." Josh cleared his throat and made a vague gesture with his hand.

"I'm a vampire." I finished, showing my fangs quickly before tucking them back into my mouth. I glanced at Aiden who was leaning against the wall, watching our interaction. "He's got a way with words, Aid."

"That's Josh." he smiled genuinely.

Something in my gut told me Josh wasn't going to attempt to kill me at any moment, so I decided to have a look around-though I was still going to be cautious. "I'm gonna take a look 'round." I made my way up the staircase, ignoring a small dent in the floor as I passed it.

The house was pretty old and we'd bought it cheap, and by we I mean Aiden and Josh since I was completely broke. Apparently the happy couple that had owned the house previously had had a big change. The woman had died falling down the stairs or something. As I reached the second floor, I began looking into all of the rooms. There was a bathroom, a set of stairs that led up to the attic, and three large bedrooms.

I stepped into the one furthest from the stairs and looked out the window. The room had a nice view of the street in front of the house. To be honest, I kind of liked it. I was just about to go and tell Aiden and Josh I so claimed the room when a yellow post-it note caught my eye on the window.

_Sorry Kate, it's mine_

_ -Love A_

"Jerkwad." I muttered lovingly, rolling my eyes and ripping the note from the window. I stuffed it into my pocket. Aiden had always loved places with a view. He told me he'd lived in a lighthouse once for a couple weeks until he got annoyed of the constant boat horns blowing.

Making my way out of the room, I went to the room next door to Aiden's. A few duffels and a bed were already set up, which meant this had to be Josh's room. I huffed in annoyance, extremely unhappy that I wasn't going to be picking my room.

I went to the last room, next to the staircase, and looked around. There was a view, but it was of the alley beside the older house. I went to the closet, ungracefully tripping over a loose floorboard, and opened it only to find something on the floor. It was a photo, face down against the wooden flooring. Curious, I picked it up and turned it over in my hands.

The picture was of a pretty woman around twenty-three, maybe twenty-four, with her arms wrapped around a man about the same age. The man looked familiar and I remembered seeing him talking to Aiden earlier. This had to be Danny and his dead fiance.

They looked happy in the picture, frozen in time. The guy had been pretty torn up when he mentioned the woman, Sally I think her name was.

Personally, I hated taking pictures. They were pointless seeing as I never physically changed. All I had to do was look in the mirror and there I was, same as I was in 1861. What was the point in having another reminder that I wasn't going to get older?

But these two, Danny and Sally, their happiness and love seemed to radiate off of the damn thing. I'd heard that a picture was worth a thousand words, but I never really understood what that meant until I saw _this _picture. With a sad sigh, I put the picture under the loose floorboard.

This house wasn't mine yet, in my head it was still Sally and Danny's. Though Josh and Aiden were renting it, the three of us had no memories here. Not yet, anyway.

**So...I was supposed to post this after the season finale which was a long time ago but somehow I forgot...anyway, sorry 'bout that! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own what you recognize.**

**Sorry I have updated in forever. I lost inspiration after the season finale and then I've been busy with school...which kind of inspired this little chapter. I'm probably gonna add on to this one so another update should be happening soon.  
**

There were days when I really wanted to punch Aiden. This was one of those days.

"People are starting to ask questions, Katie." he said, grabbing his wallet from his bedside table. His hair was slightly wet and Aiden was wearing his scrubs. "They want to know where my little sister is and why they never see you in town."

"Tell them to mind their own business," I muttered unhappily, leaning against his bedroom door frame. For the past few weeks I had pretty much locked myself up in the house. Not that I was alone, though. Sally, Danny's deceased fiance, was apparently 'haunting' the house. She was a pretty, nice woman who made good conversation. I was more interested in learning about her and her previous life and helping her get her door rather than going and socializing with the public.

Aiden sighed and gave me a look, "I'm not telling you to go eat ice cream with the neighbors but you can't lock yourself inside twenty-four seven. We're trying to be normal, remember? Which means you should be enrolled in school, drop by the hospital and say hey to me and Josh, hell get a job or join a sports team if you want. Just...be normal."

I resisted the urge to pout, knowing it'd get me nowhere with Aiden. My pouting method had worked with my brother for a century but eventually wore off unless I put a ton of effort into it. "If I go to school I'll just be re-learning things I already know or don't care about." When we had lived with Bishop he made me go to school so I could learn how to appropriately interact with humans and to make sure I could hold myself back from ripping them apart if they got a paper cut. Let's just say the first couple of schools I attended lost several of their students.

"Then don't pay attention in class." he suggested with a sigh, walking past me and leaving his room. I followed him downstairs to the kitchen where Sally was waiting.

"School is a good idea." Sally said, shrugging a little when I raised an eyebrow at her, "Sorry. I popped in for a second but I guess you guys didn't see me. Kate, school isn't just about learning. There are boys and friends-"

Aiden cut her off, "Don't encourage her to get a boyfriend just yet, Sally."

I rolled my eyes, "So now I'm not allowed to-"

"Katie, let's take things one step at a time okay? I'll get you in the school system after work today. Let's take it easy from there, kid."

A reply was making it's way off of my tongue when Josh walked into the room, greeting everyone with his usual 'Good morning' greeting. I was getting used to the werewolf. We had all been in the house for a little while now so things were slowly becoming what Aiden had originally intended.

In the end, I gave in. I could handle school. The math, history, science, language, and all the other academic courses would be no problem. It was the people I was worried about. I wasn't used to going to a school and being there for a long period of time. I hadn't even attended school in a couple decades...my only real interaction had been vampires and they weren't the best at being social.

But Aiden wanted normal and deep down I did too. So, I'd give school a shot. If worst came to worst, I'd do home school and just sit around pretending to learn all day.


	6. Chapter 6

I'm not sure how to feel about having Nora in on the big secret. When Josh first came home after Aiden's big showdown with Bishop, the four of us-Sally, Josh, Aiden, and I-gathered in the living room and sat on the floor in a circle. Josh explained to us what happened with Nora and how she now knew about him being a werewolf-and about the rest of us, too.

Nora and I have only spoken a few times the entire time I've known her. Less than Aiden has, but much more than Sally obviously. For the most part, I like Nora. She makes Josh happy and she's a pretty down to Earth woman.

That doesn't mean I'm completely comfortable with her _knowing_, though.

She found out almost a week ago, and since then she's spent almost every night at the house. I'm not exactly used to making sure my morning blood is in a non-see-through glass. Aiden bought me a huge coffee container, though. Sally told me it makes me look older because it looks like I'm drinking coffee.

Anyway.

The point is, over the past week we've had to make several...arrangements. Aiden killing Bishop has pretty much put him in charge of Boston for now, unfortunately not every vampire is okay with this. He's out a lot more, cleaning up any messes vampires who can't control their hunger have made. I've offered to help dozens of times, but Aiden just tells me to let him deal with it. Not that him telling me what to do has always stopped me from doing what I want. Threatening the newer vampires isn't too hard to do, not really. Most of them have seen me around and know where I stand when it comes to the whole Aiden-in-charge situation. They've also seen me take on four vampries at once and kick their asses because they weren't sticking to the 'no live feeding' rule Aiden established. Being older definitely has its perks.

Another arrangement is dealing with Sally. The poor ghost missed her door. She hasn't mentioned it much, but I think it bothers her more than she'll admit. What's she supposed to do now? None of us have any answers, the only suggestion is for her to wait and see if it comes back.

I also think Sally is pretty annoyed with Nora. Nora being human, she can't see or hear ghosts. Nora's taken the whole supernatural world pretty well, but she hasn't mastered talking to spirits. Not that the woman hasn't tried. I've walked into the kitchen a few times to see Nora sitting at the table telling an empty room about her day at the hospital while Sally was roaming around the house.

All in all, everyone's having to re-adjust. Aiden is dealing with the vampires in town. Sally is dealing with her missed door. Josh is dealing with his girlfriend finding out about all the paranormal in the world. Nora is dealing with learning about the supernatural. And I'm kind of squished in between everything. I'm helping Aiden when I can, worrying about Sally and whether her door will ever show up again, hoping Josh and Nora's romance doesn't come to an end, and the fact Aiden wants me to join a sports team because he thinks I'm home too much and I need to find friends my own age.

I highly doubt anyone at school was born in the 1800's, though. Yeah, when I pointed _that_ little fact out to Aiden he gave me one of his own special eye rolls.

I hate to admit it, but he might have a point. Doing the room mate routine was supposed to be about giving normal a shot. Sure, I go to school but the rest of my life is full of vampires, werewolves, and ghosts-not exactly the average teenage girl's lifestyle. Maybe joining a team or something would be a good idea.

A/N: What's this...? An actual post? ;)

Definitely not one of my better posts, that's for sure. This is more of me trying to get back into the hang of things. Not a well put together post. I'm debating on doing an actual story for season 2 rather than one-shots... Review and tell me what you think.


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